I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
