I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
