when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
