We should be called the Road Head Warriors
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
