cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Found the puke drawer
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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