i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize