is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
