i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
