We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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