I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
