I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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