is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
