Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
