I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
