I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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