I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
