hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
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