This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have aggressive nipples.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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