he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
