Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
