i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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