Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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