Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
