I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
