weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
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Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.