i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize