in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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