Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
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Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
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Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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