That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need to calm my uterus...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
