I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize