he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
