dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
