if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
