How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
there is glitter all over my balls
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
