Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
