The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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