Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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