True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
