If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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