I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize