Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
