im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
