who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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