So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
