There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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