Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
worst night to have a conscience
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
