I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
