i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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