is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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