I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
