my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
