I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
