walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
