you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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