He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
