i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My Sexting was not on an AP level
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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