Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize