O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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