i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
