Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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