You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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