Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
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His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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