How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
